Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize