the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
