he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize