She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
