But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
