carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
