Tell her she can't have a vagina
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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