He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
