its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Mom said you looked used
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize