The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well I can't set my house on fire every night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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