theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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