Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
