There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
