dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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