i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
