Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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