oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You are a genius and a whore.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
