Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
