Just fell off a train. Bad.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
