I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
