I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
