Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
