She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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