$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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