it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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