Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
false alarm, still single
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