i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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