Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We don't watch enough power rangers
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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