Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
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We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
