whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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