Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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