there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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