I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
