Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
