Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
