He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I still have a little drunk in my system
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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