Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
