S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
