So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
