Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize