If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
