I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
