big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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