My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it glows. i had to have it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
