Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
so much tequila, so little girl.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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