she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
