even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
