tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
