i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Terrible idea I love it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
