Screwed.edu
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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