The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
