So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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