I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
