I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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