She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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