Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
