it glows. i had to have it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
