I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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