you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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