8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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