Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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(208): View more from Idaho

Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl

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(647): View more from Ontario

he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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(706): View more from Georgia

I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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(585): View more from New York

I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college

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(765): View more from Indiana

We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.

(801): View more from Utah

Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.

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