Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
