It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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