why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
should my penis look like a turkey
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
