Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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