wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
